Been having to negotiate a lot lately, not just in my travels but in my life. Kebabs, gelatos, bottles of wines, everything is a negotiation. I’ve learned some hard lessons the past few months and I’m committed to getting better and sharing what I learn. For now, here’s some takeaways I’ve had from the past couple of negotiations:

Build the relationship first. You can’t walk into a negotiation cold and expect to get results or achieve your objectives.

Identify the other parties’ positions. Notice that’s plural because there are always more than 2 positions in any given situation. Identify what each party involved wants out of this deal.

Look for the win-win-wins (remember, always more than two).

Wait for the decisive point. That’s the time to lay all the cards on the table. Go on the offensive. Sometimes this happens over the phone, or afternoon tea, but that decisive moment will present itself and you need to be ready to capitalize on it. Negotiations are all about momentum. Once you seize it, you want to keep it going.

Some indicators of said decisive moment: rapport has been established, other party starts asking direct questions. Other party discloses what they want or their asking price.

Play to emotions. All decisions are fueled by emotions. If you dig down deep, no matter the person there is an emotion there that is driving that person’s decision-making process. So recognize it and play to it. Give them the emotions they need to sway their decision in your favor.

Last piece. WIN. What’s important now. Focus on the present and this moment, and throw everything out the window. That’s how you WIN .

How do you prepare for a meeting or negotiation when everyone seems to have a different position or desired outcome?

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