Been thinking really hard about relationships and connections between people lately. I’ve grown a lot in my own life, but I still have a lot to learn.
I believe that I’ve learned a few things up to this point. Here’s some concepts I’ve picked up. And sharing this hopefully does as much for you as it does for me.
1) Relationships are not about transactions. But as people, we search for things in other people. And sometimes we see things where we want to see them when they’re really not there. Other people are not necessarily looking for anything in return or something for those things they find in you, but you have a connection because you share overlapping focus areas. So if you want to build that connection with someone amplify those overlaps, and see how much deeper your connection can go.
2) When dealing with other people in relationships, you have to remember they are going to surprise you every step of the way, because they think completely differently than you do. You can’t control how they react to something you propose, but you can control how you react and how you adapt your approach. Crazy is trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results. So adapt to the update in the situation. Change your tactics. Ask yourself do I completely understand the other person and their situation. Chances are you don’t and that’s why you’re frustrated because you haven’t matched your approach with the other person.
3) Get rid of expectations. Focus on your domain and what’s in it. Have expectations of yourself and not the other person. Cultivate multiple options that are going to provide you a solution to your problem or dilemma. I love playing the what if game. Because if I can imagine the worst case scenario in my head, when it becomes reality I welcome it because I’ve already thought through it, and I have 5 more contingencies ready to go behind that one.
Do you agree or disagree with any of this?
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